How Can I Help My Child Learn to Share and Take Turns?
Struggling to share is a battle every child faces on, likely, a daily basis. they want the toy, they want to go down the slide first and they absolutely do not want to split the last cookie. As adults, don’t we all feel the same way, at least on some level, about different things. we want that beautiful house within our price range, we want to go first through the stop sign, and we absolutely do not want to share the piece of dessert our significant other “just wants a bite of”. But, while this is all true, over time we all must learn how to value the thoughts, wants, and needs, of others and, while its difficult, learn to share and take turns. That begins at a very young age and if you’re a parent of a toddler or preschooler, it falls on you to ask the hard question: “How can I help my child learn to share and take turns?”
Learning to share is a developmental skill comes with time, practice, and patience — from both children and adults. We will explore a number of tools and strategies in this article that will help support your child’s social-emotional growth in fun and meaningful ways.
Why Sharing and Taking Turns Is So Hard (and So Important)
This part requires some patience and mental re-framing. Children aren’t born with the ability to share. In fact, toddlers are naturally ego-centric — it’s not actually selfishness, though, but rather a normal part of brain development. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), most kids start to understand sharing between ages 3 and 4, but may not consistently practice it until later.
Sharing and turn-taking are vital skills that lay the foundation for healthy social development. In sharing, children learn to cooperate with other, empathize, resolve conflicts peacefully and develop and nurture stronger relationships.
Here at Chester Child Development and Youth Center children can practice these skills in real time with guided play and group activities! Schedule a tour to see this learning-in-action for yourself!
Strategies to Teach Sharing and Turn-Taking
Here are proven, playful ways to help your child develop these social skills— without the meltdowns.
1. Model the Behavior You Want to See
Children learn by watching adults. According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, modeling cooperative behavior supports the development of executive function — the mental skills needed for self-control and decision-making. Show your child what sharing looks like! Offer them a bit of your snack and say, “I’m happy to share with you.” Or, if you have a safe object that they would desperately like (not encouraging handing kitchen scissors to toddlers, here) offer the item with “Would you like to have a turn?”
We work on turn taking daily here at Chester CDC! Come see sharing (and conflict resolution) in action within our classrooms!
2. Use the Language of Sharing and Turn-Taking
Even before your child fully understands the concept, talk about it often, Children are tiny sponges that learn to interact with the world and others by watching you!
- “It’s your turn now, then your sister can have a turn.”
- “Let’s take turns going down the slide.”
- “I’m going to share my crayons with you. Can you share yours with me?”
This builds vocabulary and reinforces the behavior over time — a common practice in early childhood classrooms. Repetition and consistency will have an enormous impact.
Ask how we model good sharing and relationships for our students here at Chester CDC. Schedule a tour and see how our various classes put this into action, daily.
3. Practice with Games and Group Activities
Games, puzzles, and even simple songs with actions (“Row, Row, Row Your Boat”) help teach waiting and turn-taking in a low-pressure environment. Duck, Duck, Goose and Hide and Seek are excellent examples of activities preschoolers can handle that encourage turn-taking. In daycare and childcare centers, teachers often use games to help children learn these skills without even realizing they’re practicing social skills!
Call today to schedule a tour and see how we encourage social skills and what games our students love here at Chester Child Development and Youth Center.
4. Positive Encouragement
Children love to be praised (who doesn’t?) Offer positive reinforcement like: “You waited so patiently. That was kind!” to help reinforce your little one’s choices and patience. According to Zero to Three, young children learn best when social lessons are embedded in play.
Schedule a tour and see the lovely and intentional ways our early childhood education teachers encourage and bolster their students as they learn and grow.
5. Use Visual Timers and Cues
Visual timers or “turn tokens” are fantastic for preschool-aged children. Try setting a timer and saying, “When the timer goes off, it’s Olivia’s turn.” This removes the guesswork and reduces anxiety, helping a child see their turn is coming and thus wait more patiently for it.
These tactics are huge within early childhood education. Schedule a tour and see what kind of tools we have to help with turn taking and waiting here at Chester CDC.
Final Thoughts: Be Patient and Celebrate Progress
Your child is building lifelong social skills that will help them navigate friendships, classrooms, and even future workplaces. This learning is marathon, not a sprint, and will take time and so much repetition to perfect. Celebrate the small wins where you can! Your toddler shared a toy for two seconds? That’s a win in toddler time! They offered one goldfish to their sibling? Also, a win!
Your consistent guidance — paired with positive experiences in childcare and daycare — is essential and will set them up for future success.
We work on sharing ALL the time here at Chester Child Development and Youth Center! Call today and let’s chat about the different tactics we use and how we encourage sharing and good friendships!