Preschoolers feel everything in a big way, within early childhood education, those “big feelings” aren’t misbehavior; they’re messages, and they are developmentally appropriate. With the right tools, relationships, and time, children learn to understand emotions and manage them safely. These skills are a cornerstone in their education, setting them up for future learning, friendships, and general well-being for years to come. This article offers some researched and simple actions to help children learn and grow through their social and emotional milestones. Keep reading to help your preschooler on their way to a calm and regulated future!
Come see how our program here at Chester Child Development Center helps support children wholly, not just academically. Call today to schedule a tour!
Why preschoolers have such BIG feelings
While children are small the parts of their brain systems that feel are well-wired, while the parts that manage feelings are still under construction. Responsive, back-and-forth “serve-and-return” interactions with caring adults literally shape brain architecture and lay the foundation for self-control and resilience. (Source) According to the organization Zero to Three, co-regulation—borrowing a calm adult nervous system—helps young children settle and learn to regulate over time.
We know that early education is all about learning–and not just the ABC’s, but about friendship, managing frustrations, paying attention to instructions, and so much more! Schedule a tour with us here at Chester Child Development Center, we would love to show you how we help our students thrive!
1. Teach the words
Labeling emotions is a science backed way to help preschoolers understand and communicate their feelings, eliminating a number of tantrums before they start. This can come from a parent, caregiver, daycare or childhood teachers, and so on! Statements such as “You’re frustrated; your block tower fell over” will give children the words to use when a similar situation erupts later. It will take time, but eventually they will be able to say how they feel, rather than melt down with no communication. Research links early skill in identifying and naming emotions with better emotion regulation later on. PubMed
Our early childhood educators here at Chester Child Development Center are very intentional to slow down and help their students name and work through their feelings. Call our office and schedule a tour to meet our teachers, see our facility, and let us show you how big feelings are managed from classroom to classroom.
2. Build a calming toolbox
Preschoolers need concrete strategies they can do: belly breathing, starfish hands (trace and breathe), wall pushes, squeezing a fidget toy or stuffy, or a cozy corner with books and soft lighting. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages naming the feeling, offering choices, and praising children when they use words or calming strategies. Pre-teaching and rehearsing these tools while children are calm will give them the base knowledge of the activity to fall back on (likely when prompted by an adult) when they are in a dysregulated state.
Come see us here at Chester Child Development Center and ask about our classroom calm-down strategies!
3. Co-regulation & emotion coaching
Whether within a daycare or childcare setting or at home, adults are the emotional thermostat, and their calm (or chaos) is contagious. Soft voices and a steady presence will help deescalate the situation and bring a child down much faster than matching their energy in the midst of a conflict. Children are able to ‘borrow the calm’ of their adult and help themselves to calm down, as well (Source).
Emotion coaching teaches children how to feel and what to do with those feelings—turning emotional moments into valuable learning opportunities for lifelong resilience (Source). This looks like moving through the following steps: notice, validate, label, limit-set, and problem solve. In practice this looks like the following: ” You are frustrated that baby brother knocked over your blocks. It’s okay to feel mad; it’s not okay to hit. Let’s stomp three times together, then apologize and say “Please don’t knock over my blocks.”
Emotion coaching and conflict management are part of everyday life here at Chester Child Development Center. Come for a tour to see our wonderful educators in action!
4. Boundaries that teach
Limits keep everyone safe. There are a multitude of behaviors that can be guided with “time-in”– which keeps children close, offers them comfort, and coaches them through the coping techniques are being implemented at home or within the classroom. For aggressive or unsafe behaviors that must be addressed immediately, the American Academy of Pediatrics has found that utilizing a time-out—used briefly, calmly, and consistently—has decades of evidence for reducing aggression and improving compliance when paired with warm, positive relationships. Always be sure to reconnect after correction! State the issue, the rule, and the behavior or coping technique they may implement next time.
Ask about how we manage conflicts that arise here at Chester Child Development Center. We are ready and able to calmly come alongside your little one and help them through the various struggles and frustrations that come their way.
Emotional Development to last a lifetime
When big feelings hit, preschool-aged children are not simple ‘throwing a tantrum,’ they are growing and learning. Each deep breath, redirection, implementation of a coping strategy, or comforting hug will help wire children’s brains for empathy, peace, and confidence. With lots of patience and love, emotional regulation and development will come over time. Through intentionally prioritizing emotional learning, it will give your child one of the greatest gifts to support them from their early childhood education and beyond. The ability to navigate life with compassion and to self-regulate and communicate their feelings.
Here at Chester Child Development Center, we strive to help our students develop and grow to set them up for a peaceful and regulated life well past their ABC’s and 123’s!